


i can see it in your eyes

by GrayJedi11



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Bad Writing, Blood, Coffee, Depression, Eyes, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Dr. Emile Picani, Other, Self-Harm, Short, Sleep | Remy Sanders Needs a Hug, eyes are important, i mean whatd you expect im writing remy you cant just not have coffee, its really not very good i didnt look over it, my friend wanted angst tho and i had an idea, projecting so much projecting, theres magic tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:14:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayJedi11/pseuds/GrayJedi11
Summary: emile comes home and remy is sad (the tags are probably a better representation of it)
Relationships: Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39





	i can see it in your eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [healthyboybrand](https://archiveofourown.org/users/healthyboybrand/gifts).



"Hey, hon."

Remy merely glanced briefly at his partner, chewing his nails. His sunglasses still rested on his face, even though he hadn't been out today. He was usually home, since he was a writer and didn't have to go out much, but you wouldn't catch him dead in public without his sunglasses.

Emile placed a Starbucks coffee in Remy's hand, who mumbled his thanks, then reached over to brush his face, hand touching his glasses. Remy turned his head to look at the window. 

"So, um, how was work?

They sat down on the couch and clasped Remy's hand, who held on with a purposefully loose grasp. 

"It was fine, but are you alright, love?"

Remy smiled back at them, squeezing their hand from the odd distance he put between himself and Emile. 

"Yeah, I'm okay, I'm okay." He sipped his coffee, not looking at Emile's eyes. "Little too much coffee."

"Why don't you-" Emile reached for Remy's glasses, "take them off?"

Remy stopped them fast, which caused their jacket sleeve to fall down a little. He quickly pulled it back up. 

"They're comfortable right now."

"Don't you hate them?" Emile looked like an adorable confused puppy. 

"It's fine."

"Remy, what's going on? What are you keeping from me?"

"I- um, it's fine, I'm fine, I just want to wear my glasses."

"I need to see your eyes, Remy."

Remy was close to stopping them, but knew it'd only arouse more suspicion. Maybe they'd changed, even. He gazed at Emile as their hand pulled the heavy frames from his face, eyes widening as they saw his eyes. 

They'd hoped for a beautiful golden, hoped he wasn't lying. Unsurprisingly, they didn't show Remy's color of happiness. Maybe it would only be a sad ocean blue, or even an anxious purple. At the very least, they hoped it would be a dull, depressed navy color. 

It hurt them to see Remy's eyes a beautiful near-white color.

"Please don't. I won't leave you, hon. I love you."

Out of his suicidal eyes arose tears as he clung to his partner. He leaned against them as he pulled back his right sleeve to reveal bloody gauze on his inner wrist. 

Emile gasped slightly and held the mutilated arm in his hand. 

"Remy, are you okay? Are you still losing blood?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine, it… wasn't enough to…"

"Is your other arm okay?"

Remy pulled back his other sleeve, which didn't have gauze, but instead a few bandaids and cuts shallower than the one on his right. He breathed in deeply and shakily before crying again.

"Isn't it- isn't it supposed to go away? Why don't I- why do I still want to, why isn't it, why isn't it enough?"

Emile stroked their boyfriend's head, massaging it to help with his eyes.

"It's okay, hon. It would be a good thing for it to go away, but it's not always going to happen. But now I'm here to stop you. It will go away. Maybe not in an hour, or a day, or a week, but you'll beg yourself not to someday. I've heard it a thousand times over- people want to do it and when they don't, or fail, they never regret it in the long run. Not one patient I've had."

Remy didn't respond, but when Emile turned his head to face theirs, one eye was glowing pink with love. They kissed him and could feel that eye glowing brighter and Remy relax in their arms. 

Emile let him sit with his head on their chest, flipping through channels on the TV for a while. The white faded to blue, and maybe even a few specks of happiness, before Emile got up to make dinner. 

By bed, they were a dull gold and Emile couldn't be happier.


End file.
